Depression

What is depression?  It's kind of like trying to describe the common cold.  It's usually simplified by a set of symptoms, such as the cold is described as a runny nose and a cough. We tend to identify depression as sadness. But, sadness is just a symptom, not depression itself.  Like a cold, depression is not the sum of its symptoms, such as sadness or anger. At the core of a cold is a virus. At the core of depression is apathy. Apathy can be described as lack of interest, enthusiasm, or concern.

This is not the apathy we choose to employ when disinterested in something. Nor is it the coldness a typical psychopath might use for their own goals. This is an apathy that is more akin to a black hole in space.

Generally, anyone can feel "depressed" given their situation or if they are unbalanced. A person with actual depression will be in a state of apathy.  This can have outward signs of symptoms such as sadness, or even manic happiness in the case of bipolar. These emotions are not a choice. Depression is not a choice. It doesn't go away.

A person can have depression for many reasons. Their environment, especially as a child. They can have a chemical imbalance or physical damage.  They can be born with an abnormality. It can be a combination of these.

The unwise and foolish would say that one should just pull oneself out of depression. This is a clear lack of understanding and knowledge on the part of that person. It is like saying, "Just stop having a cold!" Most know that a cold must run its course and is incurable. Depression is the same way.

When one is persistently sad, another might say they are depressed. As I said, sadness is merely a symptom. Many think that happiness is the opposite of sadness. This is not the case. Apathy is the opposite of any emotion. People with true depression will most times feel sadness as a way to cope with the apathy. It's an easily felt emotion. Happiness takes more energy. The black hole of depression makes energy difficult for emotions.

Society would want the depressed to do what they can to integrate into society. And, most do. Take their meds, meditate, do the things that alleviate the issues. Society doesn't want to deal with the depressed, because society, as a whole, isn't mature enough to know how to deal with it, and too selfish to think of the person who has depression. Society wants people to be just like them because they don't have the capacity to accept other views and ways of being. They want others to change to make them feel better. Or worse, break others down to make themselves feel more superior. This is abuse. And family can be the worst culprits in this.

People will tend to shy away from those things that cause them distress and gravitate towards those things that bring them comfort. Distractions to get away from the issues. This can be a normal thing, but people with depression will tend to take it to an extreme, mainly because they are being forced into a different mindset or personality by society.

Accept the person as they are. Learn to integrate the person with depression, or any other issue such as Autism, into society as they are without changing them. Yes, help with the issues at hand and teach them to cope with the apathy. Some are unable to cope and find their own way out. One eventually implodes under the weight of the black hole and trying to put on a front for society. The real problem isn't the person with depression, but the society and their ridiculous pressures.

Medication can only relieve the symptoms. Self control also helps with symptoms. It doesn't cure depression. Depressive people need acceptance as they are, not judgment or to feel they need to be changed. Behaviors need to be controlled and changed, not the inherent personality. But not behaviors as described by society in general. The simple basics of human existence - not killing, stealing, abusing. Whether one wears white shoes after or before Easter is irrelevant.

Society has proved its inability to accept the "not in the norm", depending on what a particular society considers the norm. History as proven this in our revolts and revolutions, seeking freedom from the oppressive. We've had, in our own country, women's rights movements, black rights movements, LGBT rights movements, and a myriad of other movements that have lead to the acceptance of various differences. The rich against the poor. The city against the country. The north against the south. One religious group against another.

Why, then, is there not one for mental disorders? One would argue that Autism Speaks is doing this for Autism, when clearly it is not. It is another way for society to try to force the autistic into their limited societal mold. Being the mother of an autistic child, I know how this is.

So, then, depression is complicated. It involves so many factors and cannot be put into a small box labeled with an emotion or two.