Progressive positivity...

So, I have read that doing sit-ups and crunches aren't really good exercise, as once was thought. I'm now learning to do planks and improve my pushups, as well as other core exercises that are safer for and strengthen the lower back as well.

Doing upper body work today, which is good as I am exhausted from not sleeping well. Upper body work is easier for me than lower body. I'm trying a new supplement as I find OTC sleep aids to cause me anxiety issues. It's your typical herbal stuff and has worked great for dd’s and her related Asperger's issues. Unfortunately, I'm allergic to most mainstream medications for my ailments. I think last night was just anxiety over Hub going back to work, which will pass. Chronic stress from PTSD does not help, including an ACE score of 9 out of 10, but I'm taking more proactive steps to relieve it. I know with Hub, he has such a great support network at work. They are looking out for him, keeping him from doing too much, and have been tremendous through his injury.

There comes a time, a place, and instance, when mainstream medicine doesn't help. That is not to say I find it bad, as it helps many. It depends on the person and the situation. But one must find the strength to pull oneself out of the pit and seek out what does work at any given moment. To find the good in the now, and in the past, and pull it to the forefront, and gently lay to rest the things that cause one the most pain. I've been called sick, eccentric, crazy, you name it. I've been kicked when down. I've been misunderstood and made to blame for being a victim on such times that I was. Blame? I blame no one or nothing at this point in my life. My energy, instead, must go into fixing and improving. Staying positive. Identifying the negative and learning to stay away from it - those things that would pull me down. The toxic people that would make me their scapegoat. There are many I've had to ban from my life. And, instead, gravitate towards those who understand and are healthy. Not for pity or sympathy, but for understanding. Work to reverse the arthritic damage, brain damage, fibromyalgia, diverticulosis, and other issues that make even just walking difficult.

The reason I share this is because all around each of us, there are people struggling. There are people hurting. People who suffer in silence. There are toxic predators and psychopaths (and not all psychopaths are horrible killers). There are countless victims. There are liars, cheats, and thieves around every corner. I work at trying to turn my pain into a means of understanding others and helping them to cope and improve, as well as improve myself. I don't always succeed, but I always try. Judging is easy, especially when one does not have all the facts.  I'm a firm believe in "what goes down, comes back around" and it's not for me to decide on the fate or consequences people bring themselves into.

I am not here to judge anyone. I post to reflect and share and motivate myself to get better. It helps me to figure out what is going on in my damaged brain and which paths are the right ones to take.